OHSS :(

Currently in hospital with a drain in my tummy. So not fun 😦

Transfer cancelled :,(

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Oh the pain…

Must have jinxed myself that this egg pick up was so much better than last time. Just got home from work in agony. I should have stayed home or at least went home early but I just kept thinking it wasn’t long til 5pm. Silly mistake!! Thankfully I am now dosed up on pain killers and my awesome hubby got me a hot water bottle. ♥ (It even has pink hearts all over it) 🙂

So our day 3 update was:
Grade 3’s
1 x 6 cell and 1 x 5 cell
Grade 2’s
1 x 5 cell, 2 x 4 cells and 1 x 3 cells.

We must have got an extra emby after we spoke to them on Tuesday!
I absolutely am prepared for the fact that most of these little dudes probably won’t make it and it’s so nerve wracking not knowing if we’ll have any to transfer on Saturday. Just gotta keep positive though and try not to overthink things too much!

Xo

Egg collection # 3

Just had our 3rd retrieval yesterday. Feeling much better than I did with the last one so far. Haven’t needed any pain relief at all but there’s just mild pain when I get up or sit down. Nothing to worry about 🙂

So yesterday they collected 9 eggs which I was a little underwhelmed about considering last time we got 17.

Our clinic phoned with the fertilization report this morning though and out of the 9 eggs, 9 were able to be ICSI’d and 5 have fertilized. I’m so happy that we got so many embryos as my hopes were quite low.

Now we just have to wait and see how many make it through the next few days and keep hoping that we have enough at least for our transfer on Saturday.

We are hoping to have 2 to transfer so right now everything is crossed!

Catch ups

I needed to have a little break from blogging, and other internet related fertility stuff for a while.

During that time, we did our 3rd transfer which was our frozen embryo saved from the February Cycle.

Unfortunately even though I was having some symptoms it wasn’t to be and it was only the progesterone. I think my body prefers the progesterone pessaries rather than the crinone though as they did keep AF away until after my BT.

So now that we have had a little break, I’m back for round 4.

I started sniffing Synarel on day 21 which is the first change in protocol that we are trying this time.

On day 1 I call up the clinic and get my scan and bloods done and then I will start the stims and also the ‘Bondi Protocol’.

I was armed with plenty of questions and information after our third negative result and the doctor was very patient and understanding with everything I had to ask. It’s very common for us to wonder if there is something wrong with our bodies, be it our immune system or uterus having a hostile environment for our future babies.

Rather than sending me off to be tested for auto-immune issues, we’re just going to treat things as if I have them anyway as the risks are low enough to give it a go.

The Bondi Protocol is Aspirin, Clexane and Prednisiolone. Coming from a pharmacy background I understand what these medications do but had never actually seen them used in this scenario. I’m curious to see if they help and give us our long awaited positive test and hopefully that take home baby at the end!

So far I have felt very moody on the Synarel and remember how I felt when I was on a certain OCP when I was younger. I have been absolutely horrible especially to poor DH. At least I have a good man who even though does get annoyed with me sometimes, still stands by me through it all. Well touch wood he still does! The synarel isn’t over yet!! hahahaha!

I have read that once I start stims that the moods shouldn’t be so bad. Bring on AF I say!!

IVF Round 2… Over and out

So just made the phone call to check on my blood results.

Another negative. Not even a glimpse of reassurance that my body will even work to achieve a pregnancy.

I ended up with AF on Thursday morning so I knew already it was over then. Just to put my mind at rest though, I tested on a FRER and it was a BFN.

I guess the things I had against me this cycle (in my own opinion) were that:
– we transferred a morula which was “showing signs of moving to Blastocyst” (as per the fertilisation report);
– My body didn’t cope well with the EPU so it was not the best environment for the embryo to thrive in;
– I was under stress due to being back at work as soon as I was well enough after EPU because I wanted to be busy and take my mind off it all.

I’m thankful that we get to try a FET this time as I know it’s not as hard on the body as a full stim cycle. Apparently I do need to have some meds despite the fact that my cycles are very regular. Every clinic seems to have different protocols though and they have obviously had the most success with their own way of doing it. I hope they can pass some of that success onto us for the third time around!

After the first cycle, I guess I knew not to expect it to work given that I was cycling with my hydros. With that in mind though I really counted this cycle as our first “proper” go anyway. But having had a worse time with the EPU I’m a bit hesitant to do that again in a hurry! Plus the fact that we will need to save up another $5000-9000 to try again.

I didn’t expect too much from this cycle probably because I’m so used to seeing negative after negative every month. I found it hard to be positive though as I was scared I’d jinx something. I had some pretty good signs which must have been just progesterone but when my period was late by longer than a day my hopes started climbing again. The first cycle I did, it pretty much turned up right on time (even though I was on crinone gel for both of the cycles) so I got a bit excited when I just had a little spotting the day that it was due to arrive. I read about how common it was to get spotting in early pregnancy and figured with the other symptoms that maybe I was in with a chance this time. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be and AF beat me to the blood test.

This morning, when I went to have my blood test, I couldn’t start my car in the clinic carpark. Thankfully DH wasn’t working and could come and help me to get the car home. I was meant to continue on to work after my test but as emotional as I was yesterday and today, the car problems were just another sign to say that home is the best place to be today. I really just wanted to hide away from the world yesterday but stayed at work instead which really didn’t help the situation.

Part of me is really glad that I have so many people around me who know what I’m going through. They were very supportive and understanding yesterday when I just felt like keeping to myself. However, I think for the FET I’m going to keep things under wraps to just stop everyone from asking how things are going every 5 minutes! I really appreciate my friends and family’s support but I really do feel that it has placed more pressure on me to tell the story over and over when I really just don’t want to talk about it sometimes. It kind of defeats the purpose of going to work to take my mind off it as I may as well of been at home instead!

I think that my best option is to just say that after this cycle my body took a bit of a hit and we’re giving it a break for a few months. The doctor is wanting us to wait this cycle out and go again at the end of March so if everyone else believes that it is another month or two after that it will give us time to get through it on our own and then choose what to say later on. I don’t want to lie to my friends or family but I know that if they were in the same situation then they would probably do the same thing.

Besides, I really wouldn’t want anyone to know until at least 12 weeks if the cycle actually worked anyway and I don’t know how I would have been able to keep it a secret for that long since they were waiting on the outcome anyway. It’s already going to be hard enough to wait that long as I remember when I was waiting out the recovery time from after my Essure people were asking me every couple of weeks how things were going. I’m pretty sure I don’t ask anyone else questions about what’s going on in their private life but I’m normally too polite to tell them anything but the truth. I think it’s lovely that they care enough to ask though.

I hope that all of you reading where ever you are have success with your journeys sooner rather than later. I know how many blogs and people’s stories on the forums have comforted me in the past couple of years and although it’s certainly a rollercoaster, we just have to take the bad with the good (and hope that the good isn’t far away).

I know the universe will provide the right baby to us when it’s our time and I trust that even though we have waited for what feels like a lifetime, it will really just happen when it’s meant to.

 

 

Finally an update for you all

Geez I really suck at this blogging. I can’t stand using my phone to type posts and it’s not often I get into the office to use the computer but today is my last day off before going back to work so I figured I should probably get an update out there!

I wasn’t really well following the EPU, well I was fantastic on the day and then felt as I would have expected on the next couple of days after but then it kept getting worse and not getting better. I didn’t officially have OHSS but I believe it was pretty close. I couldn’t go to work (except for trying for 3 hours on the Wednesday) and I ended up staying on the couch for pretty much all of the week.

I only started feeling better yesterday and today feeling great when sitting up just hurts a bit when I stand or move too quickly.

As you would expect, I was a little paranoid that they would cancel my transfer which was organised for Saturday (Valentine’s Day). DH and I still turned up to the appointment and I let the Dr know that I had been having lots of pain and bloating but urine output seemed good as I’d been drinking plenty of water and powerade. (To the point where I can hardly stand the taste!) He looked at me a little concerned and asked if I’d been having any fevers, which I hadn’t thankfully! I had been given a couple of antibiotics to take from the pickup day and have been taking them religiously.

So the transfer still went ahead on Saturday and we put back 1 early blast which they said looked great and was the best of the bunch.

2 of them were a bit behind but still developing so they wanted to wait the extra day to see if they’d make it to blast before they froze them. Unfortunately the other 4 didn’t keep developing so they are out of the running.

After the transfer, we went out for a lovely lunch even though it was hard to eat much with my tummy so sore. I was getting that super hungry feeling but then feeling full all of a sudden and couldn’t possibly eat one more bite! When we got home I relaxed on the couch again as I wasn’t feeling too well and just needed to lie down so that was about as exciting as the rest of the day got!

Yesterday I woke up feeling much better although still having pain and bloating. I at least felt human again and like I had some energy. Today has been better still and I have been contemplating doing the vacuuming but don’t want to burst my feeling good bubble! Just about to get ready to go out for lunch with a friend so that will be nice to get out of the house before returning to work tomorrow.

Oh, I called the clinic this morning to check on my other embies and they were able to freeze one of them which was graded as a Day 6 5BB. Of course I’ve already Googled what this means and some say it’s “sub optimal” and some will say they had healthy babies from this grade. I know you can’t really predict the outcomes but I just really wanted to know if we had a chance. I guess they wouldn’t have frozen it at all if there was no chance so there is definitely enough hope there for me!

If anything, this IVF experience has taught me how to be hopeful and positive no matter what happens. 🙂

From egg pickup to day 3 report

Hi all, Sorry for the delayed update.

I went in for my egg pickup on Monday and they collected 17 eggs!

Of that 17, they told me the next day that 14 were mature enough for ICSI and 7 fertilised. So we have 7 embabies!

Today I got the call from the embryologist and 3 are doing really well and 2 are going ok and slowly catching up. The other 2 haven’t shown much development in the last 24 hours so we may lose those little guys.

Now we just wait until Saturday to find out how many are left and we do the transfer. Really, really hoping we get some to freeze but at this stage we might not unless they are little super fighters.

As for how I am feeling, well each day from pick up onwards has been a little bit more uncomfortable. Started off great straight after the procedure then each day have gotten a bit more pain and bloating. I’m pretty sure I have managed to escape the awful OHSS unless it has been mild. I think al lot of my issues are from being a bit constipated after the anaesthetic which normally happens to me anyway. I can’t say I feel great but I am not complaining because with great pain comes great joy 🙂